Coney Island Hot Dogs in Baltimore? YES!

A few months ago my dad, who apparently has taken up watching the Food Network in his spare time, emailed excitedly to tell me about a diner in Baltimore he’d seen on Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives. Could he remember the name? No (but fortunately I can Google.) He could remember how good the food looked and signed off with orders to find the diner and try the burger and dog. An order I promptly forgot about. Until today, when stuck at a light on Eastern and Conkling in Highland Town, I happened to glance to my right and lo and behold there was the diner with an empty parking spot right out front. Ok, I know divine providence when I see it. Clearly the food Gods were giving me a sign. And hey, bonus, it was lunchtime with only a yogurt waiting for me at home. So I swooped into the parking space and raced the 100 degree heat for the a/c inside G & A Restaurant (Dad, G&A Restaurant.)

Cute does not describe this place well. You know the retro-glistening diner chains you see off highway exits? Those are cute but not authentic. If you’re looking for a greasy spoon you’ll just be disappointed if you go there. This place, however, was the real deal. Family owned and operated since 1927, G&A (short for Gregory and Alex Diacumacos) is locally known as the place to get Coney Island dogs and burgers.

Now I’m no diner or Coney hot dog expert, but I know yummy when I taste it and this place was yummy. The hot dog was slathered with mustard, greasy chili and onions guaranteed to give you heart burn. But you won’t care! The fries are fresh cut daily with just the right amount of salt and swimming in thick gravy (which you can get on the side.) The sliders were juicy on the inside, crispy on the outside, dripping with grease and gleaming with cheese. They brew their own iced-tea complete with crushed ice and real sugar like your grandma used to make on hot summer days. Perfect.

Carry-out if you must, but really you should dine in. The service is friendly, the atmosphere is comfortable and laid-back and the a/c is cool. This place is a definite Baltimore do. Do it early though. They’re only open Monday through Saturday, 7 am - 7 pm.

Bright Lights, Big City, Bountiful Sex Shops

A few months ago I dragged a friend with me to see Carrie Fisher in “Wishful Drinking” at the Hippodrome. No Star Wars fan, closeted though some of us may be, could resist. In all fairness though, I love her mostly for her writing. Princess Leia got me to read her first book, but I read the rest because Carrie made me laugh.

With glittering eye shadow and a slightly evil smile, she induced an audience member to humiliate himself on stage and for his trouble she gifted him with a sex toy. Complimenting Baltimore on its surprising selection of sex shops, Fisher confessed she’d never been to a city that boasted as many in one small area. Has she never been to Vegas?

Well, I’ll admit my exposure to Baltimore’s adult toy stores was limited to Canton’s Lovecraft. Not that I’m a prude but hey, I did grow up in the Midwest! You know what they say. The first step is admitting you have a problem.

So if Princess Leia could venture fearlessly and without embarrassment into Baltimore’s red-light district so could I.

And venture I did. Or rather, stepped gingerly.  

Just a few blocks down from the city’s police headquarters and a few over from the touristy Inner Harbor where families frolic, a whole other type of fun and games take place. For a good two square blocks, Baltimore offers for your viewing pleasure an array of clubs and shops promising to tickle your fantasy bone….and maybe something else.  And yes, they actually have booth peep shows. 

I was tempted to head into Larry Flynt’s Hustler Club for a drink, but alas, unescorted women are not allowed.

Ink me, Bmore

You know those places you’ve driven past a thousand times and every time you speed by you think what’s that about and promise yourself one day when you have time you’ll stop? Today was finally stopping day.

The Baltimore Tattoo Museum is not subtle. It’s bright green roof and adorned doorway is easily spotted. You know it. You’ve driven by it. You’ve probably never stopped because like me you don’t know the first thing about tattoos. Not that I have anything against ink. I’ve just never seen art I liked well enough to wear for the rest of my life.

And I still haven’t but I did see some great art.

The Museum, on the corner of Eastern and Bond in Fells, is in essence a fully functioning tattoo parlor. Pick from examples, bring your own, ask them to design it….they can do anything. And there’s real talent there. But their walls are what had me fascinated.

You can see an American tattoo century on those walls. The collection traces the history of electric tattooing in America.

Starting with clippings, photos and examples of tattooed carnival workers, you travel through the decades. On those walls are the 40s with the quintessential sailor tattoos, the bright colors of 70s and 80s designs to the black and white memorials for loved ones long gone emblazoned on the shoulder blades of those left behind.

It’s inspiring really. And you may be too. On those walls you may find that art you thought you’d never find. That one design you’ll happily wear for the rest of your life. And even if you don’t you’ll enjoy the effort that went into the work. And for a museum it’s a hell of a lot less stuffy than the Walters.

They open at 11 a.m., 7 days a week and they don’t mind at all if you just wander around flipping through portfolios and checking out their walls or their arms or their legs or…well, you know.

An Ode to the Berger Cookie

If you thought Maryland was known only for its crab cake you clearly haven’t stumbled onto the Berger cookie yet.  I’d been in Baltimore about a year before I made this diet busting yummy discovery, and I still can’t believe it took me that long to try it.  

Simple in its design, unexpected in its deliciousness, the Berger cookie has been a Baltimore favorite for over a hundred years. The vanilla wafer dipped in rich chocolate fudge seemed perfect enough. How could anyone improve on this?

Can you believe it? Someone did. Dangerously Delicious Pies has opened in Canton and introduced its Baltimore Bomb pie.

This pie should come with a warning.

“Beware. This truly is Dangerously Delicious and we will single handedly expand the waistline of all Berger loving Baltimorians with this pie. Handle with Care.”

Dangerously Delicious’s owner Rodney Henry, has created this incredible new crack….I’m sorry…pie packed full of Berger Cookies, melted and swirled into an amazingly sweet and creamy vanilla chess filling. I’m telling you I gained 10 pounds just looking at this pie.

And I don’t care! It was amazing. A small slice will do you but you have to do it. Try it warm. Try it cold. But try it!

My ass might hate you, Henry, but your ode to Berger is worth every calorie.

This pie has made Christmas easy. Baltimore Bomb for everyone! My mother will curse me while she licks the pie plate clean.

And hey, when you’re dropping in for your bomb, stick around and enjoy the music. Dangerously Delicious doesn’t just pay homage to Berger. It’s a pretty rockin place, showcasing some great bands. Check out their Facebook page for more information....and Weight Watchers help me, you can follow their pie truck on Twitter.

Back to Bmore

Picture courtesy of the Guardian, UK

Friday night Baltimore will once again find itself the center of a national tv audience's attention. Although this time, instead of grit, grime and crime, kitsch will play when Cafe Hon is showcased on Gordon Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares.

Even though the episode promises to be cringe-worthy (there's some doubt the show is in Cafe Hon's owner Denise Whiting's best interest) I'm looking forward to seeing how the show's producers portray the kitschy awesomeness that is Hampden and Cafe Hon.

Baltimore is a city of contradictions. From the bustle of the tourist friendly Inner Harbor, through the neighboring communities and surrounding suburbs to the crime laden streets The Wire showed the world, Charm City has a story to tell. In every nook and cranny neighborhood, Bmore unapologetically, without guile and with its own unique style, proudly lays itself out for people to see and explore.

Where else in the world could you find a city where neighborhoods play a football game every year to determine the owner of a waste treatment plant situated on their border? Perhaps in the same city that will host a Grand Prix in August? The same city that entertains Broadway shows, a thriving arts culture and nightlife alongside a hugely successful shipping and crabbing industry? Of course!

I truly love this city, and I hope you come along for the ride as I explore it and learn to love it as much as I do.